Give love: 10 Day "Give Love" Challenge

Today, one of my besties unknowingly surprised me with the inspiration for this 10 Day"Give Love" Challenge.

Allow me to give you the back-story to this before I explain the challenge to you. A few months ago, while at a mommies group I commented on a friends necklace and asked could I have it;  but not really meaning it, in fact I do that to my friends when I like something they have, but I never expect them to actually give it to me, nor am I really asking for it--just joking. But, she surprised me. She took it off and put it over my head. There it was sparkling as it draped from my neck. She took it off her humble body and gave it to me, right then and there with no hesitation. I was amazed, but I tried to give it back to her. She insisted that I take it. She wouldn't let me walk away without it, even though I really tried giving it back to her. Then, the following week she gave me the matching earrings. I'll never forget it and I think about it everytime I wear the necklace.

So, fast-forward to today and you'll begin to see where I'm going with this. One of my besties commented a few different times on how much she liked the necklace I was wearing today and she jokingly told me she wanted it (she was present on that day my friend, mentioned above, gave me her necklace), but I wasn't so quick to give it up. Then, after she teased me a little more, I reluctantly said, "Ohhh, okay," as I took it off and gave it to her. Then, she went on to explain that she didn't want it, if I didn't really want to give it to her. She was still holding on to it in her hand, but I wasn't sure that I really wanted to give it to her. And now that I think about it more, I realize that I was giving it to her grudgingly and I surely was not being a cheerful giver:  2 Corinthians 9:6-7 Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

And even though she was kidding around and really didn't necessarily expect or want me to give her the necklace, it still taught me a lesson on love and giving.

Besides, who really wants something from someone if they know the person doesn't really want to give it to them. It doesn't feel good and it shouldn't.  Although, she may not have really wanted the necklace, but she definitely only wanted it if I were to give it to her out of love--not out of obligation, guilt or compulsion.

Yet, I thought about how much I liked the necklace and how I didn't really want to give it up. So, I asked for it back. Shame. Don't judge me.

And she did. She gave it back.

Then, she went on the tell me that love is sacrificial (in a jokingly and lovingly manner--though there's so much truth in that) and that's when I realized it. So, I took the necklace off my neck, again, and chased her around the kitchen trying to give it back to her. I nearly choked her by trying to forcefully put it around her neck. It was a lovingly choke. Not, an  "I hate you"-choke. There's a difference.

I finally forced her to take it by placing it in her purse. Ha! I won. And guess what the necklace spelled out in cute, small little blocks: L-O-V-E.  Sounds cute, right?

So, when I came home and started writing, I thought more and more what she said and I agreed: she was right: love IS sacrificial. And it's something God must be trying to teach me a little more about, because a couple days ago,  I read a devotional about love. It explained  the same thing she said: Love is sacrificial. It's not really love if we do it out of obligation, in response to a kind act or in an effort to gain control.

And here, the Bible illustrates the true meaning of love:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues,they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

So, I hope you will consider joining me in this 10 Day "Give Love" Challenge. Here it is...

10 Day "Give Love" Challenge
First: Spend a moment in prayer asking God to help you to think of those in your life that could use an expression of your love. Spend time asking God to guide you to the hearts of those that will receive it and be blessed by it.
Then...
1. Make a list of the FIRST 10 people that come to mind. (Don't think long and hard, just write their names)
2. Next to each name list something you can give them that would be a sacrifice for you, but an expression of love.
3. For the next 10 days pick one person and do what you wrote next to his or her name. By the end of the 10 days you should have "given love" to all 10 people on your list.

For example:

1. Joe: Wash his car

2. Fran: Bring she and the family dinner 

3. Dan: Bring him a cup of his favorite coffee 

4. Ashley: Give her those shoes of mine that she compliments me on everytime I wear them

5. Kim: Offer to come over and watch the kids while she takes care of errands

6. Heather: Bring her a homemade batch of cookies

7. George: Walk his dog one night this week

8. Donna: Offer to come over and help her re-organize her kitchen

9. Phil: Pay one of his utility bills

10: Jenna: Take her out for a cup of coffee and conversation

These examples are just a few ideas of things you can do to express love, but remember for this challenge it must be a sacrifice, big or small. And remember love is an action, not a feeling. Thus, it may mean that for the next 10 days, you may not be able to spend your money or your time in ways in which you normally would do, but you will be blessing someone as a result of it. A very wise mother once told me, " You can't out give God," and that is so true. So, as you are giving love to someone remember that it is an offering of praise to God!

I plan to share my experience of this challenge with you, so please feel free to share yours. And if you have a friend that you think would love this challenge, please share it with them. We all need love...so why not share it! 

I don't like her

After having my second child (June, 2013), the Lord guided  me on a journey of deeper and richer self-discovery. He allowed me to understand some things about myself that have opened my eyes and have given me a better perspective. While doing what many people refer to as, "soul-searching", I discovered some realities that were painful to uncover, yet necessary.

So I started digging, beyond the layers of false personas and exhausting smiley faces and I found this little girl hiding within me. I examined her and discovered she was nothing like me, at least the me I am aspiring to be. She’s filled with fear. She’s loaded down with insecurities and burdened by the pursuit of perfection. I don’t like her. Yet, for so long she has been such a real part of me. I've given so much power to this little girl, enough to allow her to even dictate my actions and decisions. I don’t like her, yet I listened to her. She’s afraid of everything, because that’s what she has been taught to be.  She has learned early to not trust anyone, don’t let people in and always be on guard. She’s afraid of everything.

 I don’t like her.

I found her hiding in the deep dark corners of myself. I found her through searching for answers of how I got to the place of clouded judgment and an anxiety stricken mind. I found her while searching for an explanation for the constant and persistent vivid and powerfully real images that plagued my mind all day. I found her while trying to medicate her with natural remedies, self-help books, devotions, scriptures, and journals. I found her while searching for a reason to live, a reason to carry-on with life. 

I found her and I don’t like her, but  for so long I thought I needed her.

I gave her the incapable task of protecting me from everything that she so intensely and specifically fears. I needed her to think of everything and to think of strategies to cope.

I don’t like her, but I lived with her for too long.  I can’t get rid of her; she is such a real part of me. Who am I without her? These were my thoughts when I found her, but soon I realized I could never be more unless I let her go. She had to go, no longer was she welcome. 

A while ago, one of my best friends was reading a book that made a very profound declaration: The old self will fight the new self. The old self will die hard.  This assertion is rooted in Biblical truth, (Galatians 5:17) and it couldn't be a more accurate statement to describe what I was going through. I believe that when you are deciding to let go of your past, let go of your habits, let go of the person hiding inside of you and embrace the new self, the one that is fully operating in the Holy Spirit, the old self is going to give you a fight. It won't be easy. It will be a battle, and the battle doesn't stop. There's an on-going battle going on with the spirit and the flesh, but the good news: God is on our side. The good thing is I don’t have to fight alone; in fact, this battle is not mine. I just have to surrender, yet for me, that was the hard part.  

My perspective of what totally surrendering to God actually means has shifted. I understand that totally surrendering to God means I fully trust God. It means I know deep down inside that He is working things out for my behalf. I used to believe the lie that was rooted in fear: trusting God means this or that bad thing will happen. So, the old me cried out, “don’t trust God, instead continue to hold on to that false sense of security that keeps you from growing closer to God. Because being too close to God means this or that and you don’t want this or that. So, get close enough to know Him, but nothing more.” The old me failed to understand that regardless of what I do, nothing catches God by surprise. He is sovereign and in control, not me. He guides me and protects me. Trusting God means that I do not have to live a life coated in worry, fear and anxiety, but that I can be free. Free from the bondage that many of us struggle with daily. We are free, when we accept Christ we are made free (Galatians 5:1).

Let's Pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for sending your son Jesus Christ to die for me so that I may be reconciled with you and be made free. I ask that you will forgive me for refusing to operate fully in that freedom and for believing the lies that I've been told. I ask that you will help me to deny my fleshly desires and to submit my will and my life to you-daily. I pray that you will place people in my life that will encourage me as I continue on walk with you. I desire to be closer to you and sometimes it is hard to see beyond my circumstances. So, I ask that you will help me to keep my eyes on you. May you help me to uncover anything that I may be hiding from you or that I may be doing that is not glorifying you. May you help me to give those things to you and never retrieve them again. In Jesus name, Amen.

Let's Reflect:
Have you embarked of on a journey of deeper and richer self-discovery? What has God revealed to you?
Do you have any habits, beliefs, thoughts, behaviors and perspectives that are contrary to the Word of God? Ask God to help you to uncover anything that does not glorify Him.

Let's live out our faith: If you prayed the above prayer and God revealed anything in your life that does not glorify Him, then ask God to help you identify how you may rid your life of whatever does not reflect His love. If God placed a person on your heart, consider spending time praying for that person and reach out to them to let them know you are lifting them up in prayer.

Did this reading bless you today? If so, please share it with a friend.

You are not alone

There’s someone out there that needs to hear your story. 

You have a voice. 

You have a testimony.

You can share it.

You must share it.

There's someone out there that needs to hear your story, my story and for that reason, I WRITE. 

There is someone, not just anyone, but someone that God wants to speak to through these keystrokes that press on these letters to form these words that string along into these sentences that transcribe into a story, my story.

My Story. 

One that is close enough, possibly too close for comfort, yet real. 

My story, sounds maybe just like your story, and through me, He get's all of the glory. 

My Story.

One that is possibly close enough to feel real. One that is raw, unfiltered and transparent. One that denies the protection of the walls crafted to hide me from pain. One that cries out in the darkness and proclaims, "you are not alone.”

One day as I was laying in my bed, I heard God speak gently to my spirit:  “you are not alone” and at the time I thought of someone that God wanted me to share that with, so I did. But, that person didn't quite know what I was talking about. So, then I wondered, was that for me? It's possible that God was telling me, “you are not alone” for me and for you. 

You.

The one reading this hoping there’s someone out there that possibly understands. 

Someone out there that understands what you're going through.

Another living being that understands the pain, the hurt and the constant heaviness of the unrelenting depression. 

Someone that understands that depression is not a feeling, but an illness. 

Someone that understands that you do not wish, desire or want to wake up every day craving to experience the healing--the peace, the joy and yet fall flat on your face time after time. 

Someone that understands that there's so many misconceptions about what you're experiencing that it is much easier to pretend that "everything is okay", or hide because, "everything is not okay."

You are not alone.

You have come this far and will journey much further, one day at time.

You are not alone.

But, wait. Maybe you don't struggle with depression and just maybe you struggle with something else. Maybe your struggle is private, only for you and God to see. Or, maybe your struggle is obvious and anyone that pays attention long enough can see the destruction. Maybe, your story is not my story. Yet, we all have a story.

My story may not sound like your story, but my story has the same theme of any testimony: God's grace is sufficient, God is control; able to do more than I can ever imagine or think and God loves me.

So, what's your story?
You have a story.
You have a voice.
You have a testimony.
You must share it.

And this is why I share my story.

But, maybe my story makes you a little uncomfortable, maybe you aren't ready to admit that what you are experiencing is actually happening to you. Maybe you are afraid to acknowledge the pain in your life and the affect it is having on you. So, maybe my story is too real for you. Yet, God told me to write and it was because He knew what my writing would do for me and for you. 

Through these words I am allowed to experience a moment with God that is not like any other. I am able to put words into sentences that minister to me and to you. 

So, maybe my story isn't your story. But just in case my story sounds a little like your story, don't run from this moment and this opportunity to admit that this moment in your life is real. This painful experience of post postpartum depression/anxiety is not a figment of your imagination. And yes, you want it all to just go away. You want to feel and be normal again. Yes, you want your life back. I know. I'm here, too, right here with you. But, what is normal? And for me, I don't want my life back. I want the life that God desires for me to have. I wouldn't take my life back, even if I could. I want the abundant life that Christ died on the cross for me to have. That's the one I'm pursuing and striving towards experiencing, everyday. 

You are here and so am I. And I am here to tell you:  “you are not alone.”

I know what it feels like to wake up every morning in pain that words can't describe. I know what it feels like to lose all, but just enough hope to hang on. I know. I've been there and I know. I know you feel like no one cares or hears your cries at night. And that  no one understands how incredibly lonely and disconnected you feel even in a room filled with people. I know. And "you are not alone"

I'm not hear to sugar coat it for you and to make it sound pretty and nice. Depression is ugly, destructive and anything but delightful. I'm not going to pretend that I have all of the answers or that I am at a place in my life that post postpartum depression/anxiety is well behind me. It is not and some days are better than others. But, I know one thing for certain, "you are not alone". 

God is always with you. He is omnipresent. We are never alone. 

So, as I continue to write about the things that God beats through my heart, you will read the words that will penetrate your heart, in a way that speaks so uniquely to you that you will be most compelled to acknowledge the hand of God moving on your behalf.  Not every word will touch you, or move you, but when God speaks to you it will be real to you.

I write, because I know without a doubt God is using my words as His tools to manifest healing in broken hearts. 

I write for me, I write for you and I write for God. 

So, that day that God spoke to me and said, “you are not alone”, it was for me and for you.

Let's pray together:

Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for your persistence. Thank you for always pursuing me and and for never giving up on me. I am so thankful that you gave me the promise in your word that you will never leave me or forsake me and I find peace in that truth. I thank you that I am never alone because I always have you. I ask that you will help me to remember this truth on my darkest days. And God, when I feel the weight of the pressures and the cares of the world weighing down on me will you help me to know that I can cast all my cares on you. And God, when I fall and can't find the strength to get up, will you carry me. God, I thank you for this day and this moment right here. In Jesus name, Amen!

Let's Reflect:

Have you ever felt alone?

What situation(s) in your life is God trying to speak to you: "you're not alone"

Let's Live Out Our Faith:

Take a moment and pray about someone that you know is struggling. Spend time lifting he/she up in prayer and reach out to him/her letting him/her know you care and that you are praying for him/her. 

Did this bless you today? If so, please share it with a friend.

If you struggle with any form of mental illness please consider seeking the help of a licensed professional. Talk to your doctor. You don't have to suffer.