You are not alone

There’s someone out there that needs to hear your story. 

You have a voice. 

You have a testimony.

You can share it.

You must share it.

There's someone out there that needs to hear your story, my story and for that reason, I WRITE. 

There is someone, not just anyone, but someone that God wants to speak to through these keystrokes that press on these letters to form these words that string along into these sentences that transcribe into a story, my story.

My Story. 

One that is close enough, possibly too close for comfort, yet real. 

My story, sounds maybe just like your story, and through me, He get's all of the glory. 

My Story.

One that is possibly close enough to feel real. One that is raw, unfiltered and transparent. One that denies the protection of the walls crafted to hide me from pain. One that cries out in the darkness and proclaims, "you are not alone.”

One day as I was laying in my bed, I heard God speak gently to my spirit:  “you are not alone” and at the time I thought of someone that God wanted me to share that with, so I did. But, that person didn't quite know what I was talking about. So, then I wondered, was that for me? It's possible that God was telling me, “you are not alone” for me and for you. 

You.

The one reading this hoping there’s someone out there that possibly understands. 

Someone out there that understands what you're going through.

Another living being that understands the pain, the hurt and the constant heaviness of the unrelenting depression. 

Someone that understands that depression is not a feeling, but an illness. 

Someone that understands that you do not wish, desire or want to wake up every day craving to experience the healing--the peace, the joy and yet fall flat on your face time after time. 

Someone that understands that there's so many misconceptions about what you're experiencing that it is much easier to pretend that "everything is okay", or hide because, "everything is not okay."

You are not alone.

You have come this far and will journey much further, one day at time.

You are not alone.

But, wait. Maybe you don't struggle with depression and just maybe you struggle with something else. Maybe your struggle is private, only for you and God to see. Or, maybe your struggle is obvious and anyone that pays attention long enough can see the destruction. Maybe, your story is not my story. Yet, we all have a story.

My story may not sound like your story, but my story has the same theme of any testimony: God's grace is sufficient, God is control; able to do more than I can ever imagine or think and God loves me.

So, what's your story?
You have a story.
You have a voice.
You have a testimony.
You must share it.

And this is why I share my story.

But, maybe my story makes you a little uncomfortable, maybe you aren't ready to admit that what you are experiencing is actually happening to you. Maybe you are afraid to acknowledge the pain in your life and the affect it is having on you. So, maybe my story is too real for you. Yet, God told me to write and it was because He knew what my writing would do for me and for you. 

Through these words I am allowed to experience a moment with God that is not like any other. I am able to put words into sentences that minister to me and to you. 

So, maybe my story isn't your story. But just in case my story sounds a little like your story, don't run from this moment and this opportunity to admit that this moment in your life is real. This painful experience of post postpartum depression/anxiety is not a figment of your imagination. And yes, you want it all to just go away. You want to feel and be normal again. Yes, you want your life back. I know. I'm here, too, right here with you. But, what is normal? And for me, I don't want my life back. I want the life that God desires for me to have. I wouldn't take my life back, even if I could. I want the abundant life that Christ died on the cross for me to have. That's the one I'm pursuing and striving towards experiencing, everyday. 

You are here and so am I. And I am here to tell you:  “you are not alone.”

I know what it feels like to wake up every morning in pain that words can't describe. I know what it feels like to lose all, but just enough hope to hang on. I know. I've been there and I know. I know you feel like no one cares or hears your cries at night. And that  no one understands how incredibly lonely and disconnected you feel even in a room filled with people. I know. And "you are not alone"

I'm not hear to sugar coat it for you and to make it sound pretty and nice. Depression is ugly, destructive and anything but delightful. I'm not going to pretend that I have all of the answers or that I am at a place in my life that post postpartum depression/anxiety is well behind me. It is not and some days are better than others. But, I know one thing for certain, "you are not alone". 

God is always with you. He is omnipresent. We are never alone. 

So, as I continue to write about the things that God beats through my heart, you will read the words that will penetrate your heart, in a way that speaks so uniquely to you that you will be most compelled to acknowledge the hand of God moving on your behalf.  Not every word will touch you, or move you, but when God speaks to you it will be real to you.

I write, because I know without a doubt God is using my words as His tools to manifest healing in broken hearts. 

I write for me, I write for you and I write for God. 

So, that day that God spoke to me and said, “you are not alone”, it was for me and for you.

Let's pray together:

Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for your persistence. Thank you for always pursuing me and and for never giving up on me. I am so thankful that you gave me the promise in your word that you will never leave me or forsake me and I find peace in that truth. I thank you that I am never alone because I always have you. I ask that you will help me to remember this truth on my darkest days. And God, when I feel the weight of the pressures and the cares of the world weighing down on me will you help me to know that I can cast all my cares on you. And God, when I fall and can't find the strength to get up, will you carry me. God, I thank you for this day and this moment right here. In Jesus name, Amen!

Let's Reflect:

Have you ever felt alone?

What situation(s) in your life is God trying to speak to you: "you're not alone"

Let's Live Out Our Faith:

Take a moment and pray about someone that you know is struggling. Spend time lifting he/she up in prayer and reach out to him/her letting him/her know you care and that you are praying for him/her. 

Did this bless you today? If so, please share it with a friend.

If you struggle with any form of mental illness please consider seeking the help of a licensed professional. Talk to your doctor. You don't have to suffer.