Write about it.

I love to talk and I love to listen.

So, when I learned that I could talk to the creator of the heaven and Earth, my Father, about anything, I fell in love with prayer. 

Prayer opens the doors to conversation with God. And while God already knows every thought we think before we think it and every word we speak before we speak it, yet prayer is our way of connecting with God and speaking out our faith. Prayer allows us to speak life over any situation in our lives and the lives of others. Prayer is talking and mediation is listening. Often while I'm praying, I am prompted to sit still in silence and listen to the Lord speak to my heart and minister to me. 

When God designed me He placed a special gift of intercessory prayer inside me. I have learned that our gifts are not designed to be used simply for our good, but to glorify and honor God. This gift of intercessory prayer can be easily misunderstood as a burden and possibly displaced and transformed into anxiety. And, that is exactly what I did with my gift for quite sometime, but I didn't realize it.

I was taking on burdens and carrying them as if I was capable of doing something-anything with them. Then, I would pour the stress of the burdens into my life and they would manifest in the form of worry, fear and anxiety. My hands were so sticky with despair and confusion that it became very difficult to give the burdens to God.  I was holding on to them and I wasn't really trusting God with them.

I will never forget the day God revealed my gift of intercessory prayer and revealed to me why for so long I was struggling with anxiety. The anxiety held me in bondage--kept me from operating in my spiritual gift. I was missing out on the blessings that come from being obedient: the confidence in knowing that we are honoring and serving God with our lives. It took me sometime to figure out what God was prompting me to do with my gift and my writing, and now I am understanding it much more. He wants to use my testimony to bless others and to manifest my healing. 

At first when God told me to write about it, I said "no". Then, when I decided to stop being stubborn and to listen, God began confirming His call to write. He began making it known to me through others and through His word. At that point, I didn't want to say "no" anymore. I desired obedience.
I began writing and it was painful.

So, I stopped.

I started again, but the pain settled in deeper.

So, I stopped.

Then, I started writing about other issues that were a little safer and less painful, less private and more comfortable.

But, God continued to speak to me gently: write about it. 

So, I did.

I wrote about it.

But, I was still very afraid to share it. I didn't want to to reveal those wounds to others, at least not to anyone outside my comfort zone. I didn't want to open up enough to uncover the pieces of my aching-broken heart. I didn't want to. But, then I had a great conversation with a dear friend  that allowed me to reflect on a time in my life that God called me to do something that I didn't want to do, but I chose to surrender instead of listening to the desires of my flesh. I did what He was asking of me and through me He allowed so many amazing blessings to transcend. He used me to bless others and I could have said "no" and He simply would have used someone else, but I am so glad He used me, because I am tremendously blessed because of it.  

The next morning I shared it: A glimpse into my experience with postpartum depression. 

I shared a piece of the story. I shared it and the response was more than I could have imagined. I was so blessed by the tremendous feedback that I my heart was full of gratitude. I praised God for allowing me to experience the pleasure of knowing that my testimony blessed others. Now I realize I need to continue being obedient, even when it is uncomfortable and painful. I need to continue writing:  I need to continue being honest, real and as some may say, raw with my writing. I can't hide behind words, instead I must continue to share the issues of my heart.  So, I write and I pray that God will bless you through my obedience. 

Let's pray: Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for the heart that is being ministered to through the reading of this prayer. I thank you for sending her to this prayer at this very moment. I ask that you will penetrate her heart and mend the brokenness. I pray that you will soothe the pain and that you help her to walk in victory. I pray that you will bless her hands to work to bring you glory and will you order every step she takes in your name. I ask that you will keep her mind on you and will you always remind her that she is worthy of your love, grace and mercy. May she never doubt for one moment your love for her. I ask that you will bless her to always experience your joy and peace. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Let's Reflect: 
Do you desire to be obedient to God in every area of your life?

Are there any areas of your life that you are still holding on to, instead of surrendering them to God?

Have you shared your testimony with anyone?

Let's 'Live Out' Our Faith:  Decide today that you will take time to reflect on a time in your life that God drew you closer to Him. Write it down and share it with someone who hasn't heard it. Pray that God will guide you to the ears and the heart that needs to hear it.

If this blessed you, please share it with another sister.